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    October 06

    库尔勒没有月亮

         昨天太阳毫不吝惜地普照着库尔勒,甚至整个南疆,其热烈豪放仿佛是因为透支了今天的能量,所以今天天色大转,阴沉郁结,温度也降了下来,今晚会是一个无月的中秋吗?
         罗布人的后裔艾买提告诉我,维吾尔人不过中秋节,所以他们也许不那么遗憾。中原人对中秋节的热衷除了是怀乡的情愫、团圆的渴望,我想更原始的冲动应该是,对圆满的赞叹和向往。所以从上古时代起人们就对“神”有了特殊的需求,人们需要一种极致的完美,无死而万能,于是人们带着敬畏制造出一个个万能的神,而神的其中一“能”就是制造了我们。这是古人一个多么可爱的悖论啊:不完美的人创造了完美的神,然后神创造了我们。当人们向外驰求圆满,便有了对有形或无形的神祗的膜拜。然而“膜拜”本身就是一种撕裂:“因为我不可能是神,所以我膜拜神灵,我和神是永恒分割的两者。”所以膜拜不可能带来终极的圆满。
         佛陀是一个革命者,其中最大的革命就在于“寻求”的指向。年轻的乔达摩·释达多同样是“完美”的狂热追求者,他不甘生、老、病、死,他拒绝苦难。他没有臣服于梵天的神权,也没有像秦始皇一样听信方士们的“长生不老药”一说,但他的确也经历了向外寻求的阶段,试图通过极端的苦行达到极致的幸福。当一切手段被证明徒劳之后,万念皆休;当意识已经无力外求时,心念自然向内沉潜。当心终于肯反躬自身,它会发现它就是圆满本身,其“能”周遍。
          然而我们的痛苦就在于,始终不肯停下来向内观照。佛陀从来没有想过要把我们变成另外一物,变成我们不是的那个人,那如恒河沙数般浩瀚的法教啊,都是为了让我们认识那个失散已久的自己。今夜如果真的无月,那么我将视其为如佛陀般的上师最慈悲的加持,他是希望我能向内看到自己那轮高悬的明月,我就是明月。
          噶玛巴千诺!

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    " 我就是明月" 並不異於佛陀初降人世時指天而說的那句真言:天下地上, 唯吾獨尊!
    不是的話,老咪可能還沒見月,反而盯住了指月的手指頭.

    正在整理一個上師噶瑪巴與圓月和月餅的小故事, 遲些寄到你郵箱吧.
    Oct. 7

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